Review: Crystal

crystalcoverwarAutumn 1943 and Nazi scientists hatch a fiendish plot to bring Britain to its knees and secure German victory in the Second World War:

Under cover of darkness, hundreds of elite SS paratroopers are dropped into remote English villages where they poison the water supplies with a deadly experimental vaccine which causes expectant mothers to give birth to babies with giant spacker grape-like heads and the eyes too far apart.

Amongst those afflicted is pretty young factory girl Jo Orden, whose own new-born baby falls victim to the evil Nazi plague. Vowing revenge, Miss Orden reluctantly walks out on her essential war-work on the High-Heeled Combat Boot production lines and travels to London where, using her intellect and feminine wiles, she talks her way into an emergency cabinet meeting called to discuss the crisis –and offers her help. At first the British Top Brass are sceptical. What can one plucky young girl, armed only with wit, cunning and an encyclopaedic knowledge of shoes do against the might of the Third Reich? However, Jo Orden begs them to give her a chance and soon an audacious plan is hatched –no less than the assassination of Adolf Hitler himself!

At a top secret research facility in Hampshire, Jo Orden has her skin coated in an experimental new flourescent orange paint intended to confuse the Germans’ air defence radar and twenty pounds of high explosive are surgically implanted into each breast so she can blast her way into the Fuhrer’s bunker. The garrotting wire with which she will carry out the assassination itself is also sewn into her breasts, just under the skin, disguised as all veins round her big stretched nipples.

On a chilly, misty night in late September, Miss Orden is dropped by parachute into remote countryside some distance from Berlin. All that remains for the young heroine to do now is make her way into the very heart of the evil Nazi empire, break into one of the most secure compounds on the planet and assassinate the most evil man the world has ever seen –a man protected by a private army of ruthless fanatical and totally loyal killers!

I won’t give away any more of the plot for fear of spoiling your enjoyment but suffice to say this is an absolute blitzkrieg-nebuliser of a book. Katie Price has got to be one of the best writers of our time, if not of all time, and in Crystal –her seventy-third novel and second foray into Second World War fiction, she pulls out all the stops. The thrills and excitement come so fast and furious and so relentlessly that one is left literally exhausted by the time one turns the final page. Highly recommended!

RATING: 5 Stars

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